


dead or alive

by asiannoodles



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Bittersweet, Light Angst, M/M, Monsta X Bingo, Romance, Survival, Zombie Apocalypse, not many zombies for a zombie fic tbh, slight jookyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 15:44:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13684734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asiannoodles/pseuds/asiannoodles
Summary: living in a version of their world that is overtaken by zombies, kihyun and hoseok find the safety they've been longing for.or so they think.





	dead or alive

**Author's Note:**

> filling the _dystopian future_ square

Kihyun’s eyelids were heavy as he struggled to stay awake. He sucked in two deep breaths through his mouth and let them out slowly as he willed the dizziness in his head to go away. He probably hadn’t eaten in three days and his stomach felt like it was caving in. Everything hurt and Kihyun felt that if he keeled over right now, he would die.

Day in and day out, his whole life had been nothing but running from zombies and collecting supplies ever since the outbreak. There had been too many close calls this past week, Kihyun’s running had been so much slower ever since they had run out of food. Unfortunately, their raid on an abandoned grocery store didn’t give them enough supplies to last for the week. 

But a warm hand reached up and rubbed his back and he was pulled back into reality. Looking up, Kihyun found the warm eyes of his boyfriend, Hoseok, staring down at him comfortingly.

“How are you holding up?” he asked softly. 

Kihyun pressed a finger up to his forehead and sighed weakly. “Tired,” he whispered.

Hoseok pulled him close and kissed his forehead while rubbing his back. “I know, baby,” he said as he rested his chin on top of Kihyun’s shoulder. “I know you’re tired.” 

“How much water do we have left?” Kihyun asked. 

“Maybe… half a cup left?” Hoseok sighed. “Not much.” 

Kihyun groaned and buried his face into Hoseok’s chest. “How are we going to survive out here?” he asked miserably. “The last time we ran into trouble, I could barely outrun them. We’re lucky they weren’t runners.”

“It’s okay, baby, we’re almost to the base. I know we are.” 

It had probably been months since Kihyun saw another walking person that wasn’t trying to eat his brains. He wasn’t even sure how long he and Hoseok had been toughing it out in this wasteland of what was once where they lived normally. For the longest time, he thought that he and Hoseok might have been the only people alive. After the chaos of the outbreak and then the riots and then the mass panic, it seemed like they were alone on this barren Earth. 

But that had changed a few weeks prior when they ran into a young boy who looked unfazed as he walked through the rundown convenience store he found them in, healthy even. His cheeks were full, his eyes were bright and his hair was clean. He even had a gun in his holster, supplies on his back and a knife in his pocket. He seemed so prepared, as if he had seen this disaster coming from miles away.

His name was Lee Jooheon and he had been so kind, sitting down to talk with them and offering them some of his food -- Kihyun would never forget. 

Hoseok had asked him where he was from and where he was going; where he had gotten all his supplies, how he was holding up so well. Jooheon smiled at them warmly, saying that he was in a lecture when the outbreak happened and that he had locked himself in a professor’s office for four days. He had been found by people who brought him to a place where they healed him, cleaned him and trained him to protect himself. And as for where he was going, he was off to a base in a different area, hoping to find his friends or family -- anyone he knew before the outbreak happened. He said he had found new family and friends at the base, even someone to love. But he couldn’t stay there when the possibility that the people of his past were still alive.

Kihyun and Hoseok’s ears had perked up because they had never seen any places where there were masses of people together aided each other through the rough times. All they had ever seen were each other for so long, the prospect of more people sounded like a dream come true. Almost too good. 

But Jooheon could see the interest and desperation in their eyes and told them that the nearest base, the one he had come from, was at the edge of the province, some many miles due east of where they were. 

It should have taken perhaps a few weeks to travel there on foot, but with the ever present threat of zombies looming over them and their constant stops to raid any abandoned stores for supplies, it had been taking them over a month and a half. 

And now with no food in sight and nothing in the distances but the silhouettes of slow moving zombies, Kihyun felt that it was all a little too hopeless. Luckily no zombie had gotten close enough to care about attacking them, but watching them slowly saunter back and forth still put Kihyun on an edge. 

The air was so heavy and so difficult to breathe, Kihyun heaved forward, nearly collapsing. 

“Oh, baby, no, no,” Hoseok muttered under his breath, catching Kihyun securely and holding him up. “You’re not going to faint here.”

“God, I’m so tired though,” Kihyun whispered headily. “I feel like I’m going to fall over.”

“Absolutely not,” Hoseok said, yanking the metal water bottle off the carabiner of his bag. He brought the bottle up to Kihyun’s lips and didn’t take his eyes off until Kihyun had drunk the water. “Shit Kihyun, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

And although Kihyun felt slightly more revitalized, he blinked blearily at the now empty canteen and said, “Isn’t that the last of our water?”

Hoseok pursed his lips. “Yeah…” he replied.

“Hoseok, we’re going to die. There hasn’t been a single building in days, much less a compound.”

“Don’t say that,” Hoseok reprimanded gently, lifting his hands to massage into Kihyun’s scalp. “We’ll make it to the base. Jooheon said it was just over on the edge of the next town.” 

“I hope so,” Kihyun whispered, “I really hope so.”

  
  
  
  
  


A miracle must have bestowed itself upon Kihyun because about a day and a half later, he and Hoseok finally saw what looked like a large building in the distance. As they got closer, Kihyun realized that it was a giant wall -- like a fort. 

“That’s it,” Hoseok had whispered in shock. “Oh my god, Kihyun, we  _ made  _ it.”

He wasn’t sure if it was because of the image of the compound in the distance alone, but he and Hoseok found a sudden burst of hope in his chest. Exhaustion was still tugging at his feet and weighing him down like bricks but the sight of the base ahead gave him a newfound strength.  He held Hoseok’s hand tight as they came nearer to the compound. 

But even though the base was so close, Kihyun’s lips felt so chapped and his vision began to blur. Everything was catching up to him all at once and all of his fatigue was looming over him as a giant wave. His steps began feeling heavier, like his feet were turning into lead as his heartbeat pulsed in his fingertips. He could feel himself getting lightheaded as Hoseok struggled to keep him standing.

“We’re almost here,” Hoseok huffed as they kept on staggering forward. “We’re so close, baby, hang in there.” He peered at the now visible gates of the compound and cursed. “Why isn’t there anyone outside that can help us,” he hissed. “Oh, shit-- Kihyun!” 

Kihyun let out a heavy breath as he stumbled to his knees. The dirt scraped at them like sandpaper and his eyes fell shut wearily as he whimpered, “Hoseok, I don’t know if I can walk anymore.”

“Fuck,” Hoseok muttered, “we’re out of water. Kihyun, you can’t stop now, we’re so close.” 

“But I’m so tired,” Kihyun heaved as he tried to stand back up. 

Hoseok blinked rapidly as he licked his lips, thinking of what to do. “Okay,” he whispered to himself. He kneeled down and slung one of Kihyun’s arms over his shoulders and then with some difficulty, he hoisted him up. Hoseok could feel his knees buckling also -- he had been going without water longer than Kihyun had. But for the sake of both of them, he knew he had to push forward.

“Hoseok,” Kihyun whispered against his neck as he held on as best as he could.

“We’re almost there,” Hoseok told him reassuringly as they approached the compound. “We’re so close, baby. We’re going to be safe. They’re going to feed you -- you’ll be able to drink water again.”

Kihyun could do nothing but make a weak sound against Hoseok’s neck as Hoseok tried to pick up his pace. They were so close and the closer they got, the more Hoseok willed himself forward to get there. 

He was maybe a few hundred meters away when he shouted, “Hey! Hey, we need help! Help us, please!” 

Kihyun groaned in his arms and Hoseok grunted as he shifted his grip. The gates stayed sealed shut and in the corners of his eyes he could see distant zombies stirring at the sound of his voice. He shouldn’t be yelling -- not in such a desolate place like this where there was nothing to block the sound. 

But he was so very desperate. So mustering up as much energy as he could, he began shouting and hoping that someone would be able to hear him over the high walls. 

“Help!” he shouted. “Please help us, we’re outside!”

To his relief, he could hear the sound of the gates creaking open and silhouettes of people coming out to presumably help them. He let out a sigh and his mind immediately eased when he saw people coming out of the gates and for once, he really did feel like they were safe. 

But Hoseok felt his heart come to a complete halt when the people that came out of the gates were brandishing guns at them in protective gear. His pulse leapt into his throat as he held Kihyun tighter in his arms as he slowed his pace down to a wary walk.

“Stop!” the man shouted at him.

Hoseok licked his dry lips, blinking hard as he said, “Please help me, my boyfriend, he’s--”

One man raised his gun. “I said stop!”

Swallowing, Hoseok came to a stop as they ordered and waited nervously as they approached them carefully. He shared a wary glance with Kihyun. They were so close to safety, surely there couldn’t be another obstacle -- not after they had travelled so far and starved to get here. 

“I stopped,” Hoseok said. 

“Stay there.”

Hoseok stayed as perfectly still as he could while the men came up to him. Kihyun made a soft sound again in his arms, calling out his name. His eyes blinked nervously and Hoseok hushed him softly as the man approached and pat him down.

“Do you have any weapons in your bag?” they asked.

“I have a pocket knife in the smaller compartment,” he answered calmly. “And a few daggers in the main part of my bag. But that’s it.”

A guard looked down pointedly at Kihyun and asked, “What about him?”

Kihyun shook his head. “I don’t have anything,” he murmured.

“Is he hurt?” 

“No,” Hoseok responded.

“Then make him walk.”

“What--? But he can’t stand--” 

“If he doesn’t walk, he doesn’t go in,” the guard said sternly. 

“...Baby?” Hoseok whispered as he licked his lip and looked down at Kihyun worriedly. Kihyun’s eyes were half open and his lips were chapped but he looked determined to stand, even if just for a moment.

Carefully, he set Kihyun down onto his feet and furrowed his eyebrows in concern when Kihyun immediately fumbled. He looped his arm around his neck and held him up while the guards shot him a strange look.

“I thought you said he wasn’t injured?” one asked.

Hoseok did his best not to snap at them and replied, “He’s not injured.”

“Then why can’t he walk?”

“It’s because he’s dehydrated, you idiots.” One soldier pushed his way in front of Kihyun with a canteen of water. He opened and it and held it to Kihyun’s lips, holding it steady as he drank. “Honestly, if I just trusted you guys out here, you’d kill everyone we tried to save.” 

“Sorry,” they mumbled. 

The guard that held the water looked exceptionally young to Hoseok. Though his eyes were hard and tired and the bags underneath them were dark and hollow. He watched as Kihyun drank water before glancing up to Hoseok. “I’m Changkyun. Where are you guys from?”

“We’re… well, we’ve just been wandering for ages,” Hoseok replied. “We didn’t even know there were other people who had survived our area.”

“Okay then,” Changkyun said as Kihyun finished drinking, “how did you know to come here?”

“We met someone,” Kihyun said finally, his skin already looking slightly more flushed and healthy just from some water, “who directed us here. A boy named Jooheon.” 

A surprised look glimmered in Changkyun’s eyes as his eyebrows furrowed. “Jooheon? You met Jooheon? He’s alive?”

Hoseok blinked. “Yeah… He told us we could find help here.”

Changkyun pursed his lips as he screwed the cap back onto his bottle. “...Okay. We’ll take you in.”

  
  
  
  


To Hoseok’s surprise, past the wall was another patch of land that lead to another wall and giant gates. The other guards stayed put at the outer gates while Changkyun walked them across the way to the inner ones. 

“So,” Hoseok asked, “how long have you been here?” 

Changkyun hardly spared him a glance before training his eyes on the path before him. “I’ve been here since the compound was built. My dad is a scientist and he--...well, long story short, he saw this coming so we started building this place before the outbreak.”

“I see,” Hoseok responded. 

“When we get to the gate, you two are both going to be tested there to see if you have a virus. Considering you made it this far, you’re probably safe.”

“What do you do to people with a virus?” Kihyun asked as he held on to Hoseok’s hand.

“Quarantine,” Changkyun answered simply.

Kihyun squeezed Hoseok’s hand tighter as they came upon the gates. Changkyun rapped on it loudly and waited for it to open quietly with his eyes trained in front of him. After a moment, he swallowed and turned around, staring at the ground.

“Jooheon,” he said quietly then, “is he… is he safe? Did he look okay?” 

Hoseok and Kihyun exchanged a glance with each other before staring at Changkyun’s face of concern. It struck Hoseok again how Changkyun looked, yet how tired he also looked. For someone who looked at least three years younger than him, he seemed to have been through so much. It reminded of how young he thought Jooheon had looked when he had come across them. 

Too young to be fighting for lives like this.

The gates began to open, the corners of the doors scraping at the dirt on the ground loudly as Hoseok locked eyes with Changkyun and softly said, “Yeah. Jooheon looked fine when we met him -- happy, even.” 

Changkyun blinked quietly but after a moment, he nodded his thanks and turned away. The gates opened completely then, people wearing more sorts of armor staring at Changkyun and then Hoseok and Kihyun with wide eyes.

“Survivors--!” one of them exclaimed. They shot a worried look at Changkyun and asked, “How long have they been out there?”

Changkyun shrugged as he pressed a hand on Kihyun’s back to push him closer to the other guards. “Don’t know -- they’ve been wandering for a while. Maybe even ever since the outbreak.” 

“Oh my--” he turned to Kihyun and pat his shoulder. “Don’t you worry, you’re going to be safe now. We just have to test you quickly.”

Kihyun stared at the device the man pulled out from his pocket and looked over his shoulder at Hoseok nervously. Hoseok only pursed his lips and nodded in reassurance -- everything would be fine. Kihyun could only squeeze Hoseok’s hand harder as the guard took his palm in one hand and held a tiny needle in the other. Without warning, he pricked at Kihyun’s finger and Kihyun winced at the sight of his blood forming a small bubble. 

“Nothing too painful,” the guard said, sending Kihyun a smile. He touched the tiny sphere of blood with a tiny metal square and inserted into the device from his pocket. 

Kihyun retracted his hand and licked his finger instinctively. Hoseok chuckled and kissed the back of Kihyun’s hand affectionately. Soon they would be safe. 

The device beeped and the guard’s face lit up. “You’re good! Please pass through here.” Kihyun began to walk past him with Hoseok still holding his hand when the guard placed a hand on Hoseok’s arm. “Just a second, sir, you need to get tested too.”

Changkyun leaned against the gate, watching uninterestedly as Hoseok nodded and held his hand out to be tested. Testing their upcoming additions to the base was always probably the most slow part of the whole process. It wasn’t like there was anyone in quarantine anyways -- anybody who received the virus usually died within days before even being able to arrive at their safe haven.

But then suddenly something, Changkyun wasn’t sure what, but  _ something  _ dropped in the air around them. His eyes noticed immediately when the guard’s smile fell and the device made a strange noise instead of the uniform beep it usually made.

“Oh, um…”

Hoseok stared at the man expectantly, exchanging glances with Kihyun across from him. “Is something the matter?” he asked.

The man swallowed as he pushed Hoseok’s hand away. “I can’t let you in.”

“...What?” 

“I can’t,” the man said. “Your blood results say you’re infected.” 

The shock and disbelief was clearer than day in Hoseok’s eyes, as well as terror. He looked to Changkyun for answers, looked to Kihyun for reassurance, looked to the man for some sort of clarification that this was all some joke because he couldn’t be infected -- not him.

“No.” Hoseok shook his head. “There must be some mistake. I’m not infected.”

Kihyun also spoke quickly, “He’s not infected. I’ve been traveling with him for months, I would have seen--”

“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have get sent to quarantine.” The guard made a motion with his hands and the other men began to move.

“Wait, no--!” Hoseok exclaimed desperately as men began grabbing his arms. “Stop, I don’t have a virus! Let go of me!” 

“Hoseok!” Kihyun cried out, panic beginning to settle onto his face. “Hoseok, where are they taking you--!” As he started to push his way to his boyfriend, another pair of guards held Kihyun in place. “Hey, get your hands off of me! Hoseok!” 

Scrambling to find a way to fight back, Hoseok could only struggle as his hands were bound behind his back. “Kihyun!” he called out. “Kihyun!”

“We cannot allow you to infect the rest of our defectors,” the guard told him coldly, his smile nowhere in sight.

“No!” Hoseok yelled. His arms strained against the soldiers as he tried to move them but to no avail. “Let me go!” he cried out desperately.  _ “Kihyun!”  _

“Hoseok!  _ Hoseok!” _ Kihyun’s hands were reaching out to him, so close but so out of reach as soldiers held him back and began dragging him into the compound. He turned to the guard who was watching them all sternly and begged with the most desperation in his voice. “Please! Please, he’s my boyfriend, you have to let him in! You can’t take him away!”

“I’m sorry,” the man said. Kihyun’s eyes widened and horrified tears began to form in the corners as the man continued, “He has a virus. He can’t come in.”

“He doesn’t have a virus! He doesn’t, I swear! He’s perfectly fine!”

“Come -- let’s get you cleaned up and fed.” 

“No!” Kihyun screamed as the men began pulling him into the base. “No, you can’t--  _ Hoseok! Hoseok!”  _ he shrieked.

Hoseok let out a scream of distress as his arm was twisted in a way that made his heart leap into his throat. “Kihyun!” he called back. But Kihyun was getting farther away, kicking and screaming in the process. 

Kihyun begged at the top of lungs, struggled with all his might but nothing he did or said loosened their hold on him. Hot tears ran down his cheeks as he pleaded with them to let Hoseok in, they had traveled for so far, for so long, they had to let Hoseok in!

But Kihyun could only let out one final cry as they pushed the gates closed and Hoseok disappeared with the echo of a thud.

  
  
  
  


Kihyun cried himself dry over the next three days. The people were exceptionally kind -- bathing him, feeding him, giving him new clothes, even reassuring him and comforting him when he cried. It was easy to stand the pain when people were telling him to be strong, but when he lay alone in his solitary room at night with nothing but the moon for light, he would break down all over again. 

It wasn’t right, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t right, he told himself over and over. Hoseok didn’t have a virus -- there was no way he could have been infected. Kihyun would have known, would have  _ seen  _ some proof.

Kihyun figured he might as well have been the zombie because for three days, he did nothing but lug himself about, eat when he was told and cry. It was so tiring, doing nothing but hugging himself and feeling pathetic, but he kept worrying. He didn’t know where Hoseok was, if Hoseok was okay, or even if Hoseok was alive. But god, he hoped he was alive. He just wanted to see him, to _ hold _ him. 

Still, no one would give him any information. He went to the man who had tested his blood and had pleaded with him for hours to retest Hoseok. But the man had just turned his nose up and away and gave the cold shoulder as he encouraged Kihyun to go eat more and get to a healthy weight again. Kihyun didn’t want to stuff himself if Hoseok wasn’t given the option to also.

He sat in the middle of a dining hall, alone at a table as he picked at the food on his tray. Even though he had seemed to wait so long for a secure source of food like this, it all seemed so unappetizing. He was surrounded by people, and yet, he still felt alone and nervous without Hoseok by his side.

He stood up and was ready to throw his tray of food away and go back to his room when out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the only one person he knew a name to. Without another thought, Kihyun rushed towards him and grabbed his arm. 

“Changkyun,” he said.

Changkyun looked at him in surprise, almost jumping in his shoes. “Oh… Kihyun,” he breathed. “How are you holding up?”

Kihyun narrowed his eyes. “You’re like the twentieth person to ask my that in the past twelve hours. We both know neither of us care about that.”

Changkyun’s eyes shifted to the left for a swift moment before he took his tray of food and began walking away. “Then I guess we have nothing to talk about.”

“Come back here!” Kihyun exclaimed. He yanked at Changkyun’s sleeve as he hissed, “Where’s my boyfriend? Where are they keeping Hoseok?” 

“I can’t tell you that,” Changkyun muttered, keeping his head down. “My dad would kill me.” 

“Please, I just want to see him! He’s not infected, I swear to you!” 

Changkyun glanced around the dining hall, relieved that there were few people and that no one was really paying attention. “Kihyun, that stuff is none of my business--” 

“Changkyun!” Kihyun pleaded, planting his feet in front of him to stare into his eyes. “Please, I--... I just have to know if Hoseok is okay.”

With a large sigh, Changkyun replied, “I  _ can’t,  _ Kihyun. That’s top secret info. Being quarantined--”

“But he’s not infected!” Kihyun snapped, his eyes hard. “He’s never had a virus!” 

“Well, his blood definitely said otherwise.”

“He’s not,” Kihyun insisted in a harsh whisper. “Hoseok is not infected.” 

“Kihyun--”

“Changkyun please, I’m not asking you to break him out, I just want to see him!” 

Changkyun shook his head as he yanked his arm free. “I told you, Kihyun, I can’t! No one is allowed near quarantine--!”

“But Hoseok doesn’t  _ have  _ a virus!” 

“It doesn’t matter, those are the rules! Do you know how much trouble I would be in if I let you even close to that spot? Kihyun, I  _ can’t.”  _

Kihyun’s shoulders slumped as he breathed out a sound of disbelief. He licked his lips, breathing hard as he tried to find a reason or something to convince Changkyun to take him to see Hoseok. It had been three days and he had no clue if Hoseok was dead or alive.

Desperately, he said, “Jooheon.” 

Changkyun froze in his steps and without turning around, he whispered a small, “What?” It was so quiet that Kihyun barely heard him.

“Jooheon--! When we met him,” Kihyun licked his lips as Changkyun listened intently, “he-he said that he was going to find anyone he could have left behind. But he also said that to find people from his past, he would have to leave behind someone he loved from his present.”

Changkyun shoulders visibly relaxed as he sighed. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this--”

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Kihyun said, watching the way his shoulders tensed up again. “Jooheon was talking about you.”

“That’s...”

“You two love each other don’t you?” Kihyun asked softly, walking towards him. 

Changkyun began walking away. “That’s none of your business.” 

As quick as he could, Kihyun grabbed onto his arm and stepped in front of him, his eyes sparkling as he begged again. “Please. If Jooheon got taken away from you like this, wouldn’t you want to see him too?” 

Changkyun sighed heavily as he looked up into Kihyun’s eyes.

  
  
  
  


“You’ll get ten minutes. I can’t guarantee more than that.” 

“Okay.” Kihyun nodded in understanding as Changkyun lead him down an unknown trail in the dark.

“If anyone finds out about this, I am going to be in such deep shit,” Changkyun muttered. He pulled Kihyun into a building where he had to punch in a security code first. The doors opened silently and they went in together. 

Kihyun looked around with wide eyes at the machinery and technology -- it seemed so advanced for the world that they had been cursed to live in. For a place that still relied on gates to keep zombies out, the room they entered was very high tech. 

“What is this place?” he asked softly, his voice nearly unheard underneath the sounds of beeping and whirring.

“It’s quarantine,” Changkyun replied stoically. He glanced back at Kihyun for a moment and then corrected himself. “Well, this is where they pay attention to those quarantined.”

“What has he been doing here?” Kihyun asked as Changkyun lead him to the darkest part of the room. 

“I don’t know -- I’m not part of the research team.”

“Research team--?” 

“Scientists like my dad,” he explained. “I don’t know for sure what they do but my dad always talks about their newest advances.”

“What does that have to do with Hoseok? What are they trying to research?”

“The virus?” Changkyun said half heartedly. “That’s all my dad ever talks about researching.”

Kihyun blinked again. “But…” he narrowed his eyes “what does that have to do with Hoseok?”

Changkyun swallowed. “Guess you’ll see,” he murmured as he lead Kihyun through another door that required him to input a code.

He pulled him through a cold, empty hallway where their footsteps echoed, and at the end of the hall was a wall made of bars. It looked like a prison cell merged right into the hallway they were in. But Kihyun couldn’t care less because in the corner of that barred off dead end, sitting huddled with his knees to his chest, was Hoseok.

“Hoseok…!” he gasped.

Hoseok’s eyes flashed up at his name being called and they widened at the sight of Kihyun. “Ki… Kihyun?!” He moved forward slightly, now sitting on his knees in the middle of the cell.

Kihyun’s hand flew up to cover his mouth as he rushed to the bars. “Oh my god--!” he exclaimed in a hushed voice, grabbing the bars.

Hoseok scrambled to meet him, his large hands covering Kihyun’s fingers and clutching on to them. “Kihyun!” he gasped. His eyes were wide and full of wonder all but for a second before his face started crumbling as he started to cry. “Oh my god.” His voice shook from the relief that filled his eyes. His hands clung onto Kihyun’s tightly, like he was scrambling to make sure Kihyun was real and in front of him. “Oh my god, you’re  _ here.” _

“I’m here.” Kihyun nodded frantically, his breathing picking up as he looked into Hoseok’s eyes. “I’m right here.”

Changkyun immediately hushed him as he brought out a ring of keys from his pocket and inserted one into the lock on the bars. “You can’t let anyone know you were here,” he repeated. “If anyone knows I let you into quarantine…” 

“You’ll get in trouble,” Kihyun finished. “I know.” 

With a nervous lick of his lips, Changkyun slowly pulled the door open with the softest creak and looked inside. “Ten minutes,” he reminded. “That’s all I can give you.”

Kihyun wasted no time on running inside, trying his hardest not to cry as Hoseok threw his arms around him with tears running down his face.

“Kihyun!” he hiccuped. “Oh my god, Kihyun, I thought I was never going to see you again!”

Kihyun buried his face into Hoseok’s neck and clutched him tightly and held him as close as he could. It had only been three days, so why had it felt like an entire eternity?

“How did you find me?” Hoseok asked, pulling away to hold Kihyun’s face in his hands. 

“I got some help,” Kihyun whispered. He ran his thumbs over Hoseok’s cheeks and held in the gasp he wanted to let out. “God, Hoseok, do they feed you?”

“A little,” he replied softly, “in between tests.” 

“Haven’t they re-tested you? Can’t they tell that you’re infected?”

Hoseok sniffed sadly as he held Kihyun’s hand against his cheek. “They test me every day and it’s the same result every day -- my blood matches those that are infected and I don’t know  _ why. _ I’m not infected, Kihyun, I’m _ not.” _

“I know baby,” Kihyun said reassuringly. He leaned up to leave a soft kiss on him. “I know you’re not infected.”

“I don’t know when they’re going to let me  _ out  _ of here,” Hoseok whispered as he leaned his forehead on Kihyun’s. He sniffed miserably as Kihyun wiped at his cheeks. “They keep telling me they’d let me out once they’re done testing but they keep testing me. I don’t know what’s happening, Kihyun.”

“God, what do they do to you here?” Kihyun whispered. “They’ll have to let you out eventually -- you don’t have any virus!”

“I don’t,” Hoseok repeated, “I don’t, I don’t, I don’t.”

Kihyun held his face and kissed him, “We’ll get you out, I promise. Everything will be fine.” He ran his hands down Hoseok’s arms and pulled up his sleeves, his eyes widening at all the fresh cuts and gauze covering his arms. “Holy--  _ Hoseok.”  _

“I know,” Hoseok whispered as he pulled his sleeve down. “They test me every  _ day,  _ Kihyun, I don’t know when they’re going to stop.” 

“They will,” Kihyun reassured. He told Hoseok over and over again that everything would be fine and that he would get to rejoin him and live with him soon but in all honesty, he wasn’t even sure. He had no idea what they were going to keep doing or when they were going to stop. 

But the last thing Hoseok seemed to need at this moment was any more reason to panic and Kihyun had less than ten minutes left, so he did his best to just hold him close and tell him that everything would be fine.

  
  
  
  
  


“What are you bringing a bag again for?” 

Kihyun pushed the small shoulder bag that was settling on his waist behind him as he blinked. “Just some… snacks.”

Changkyun stared at it and sighed. “It’s food for Hoseok again, isn’t it?” he asked quietly.

Kihyun nodded.

“Okay, well… make sure it doesn’t make any noise on the way in.”

“Okay.”

Maybe a week and a half had passed now and Kihyun had used Changkyun to see Hoseok every single night. His days had been so stressful as of late, waking up and just thinking about how he didn’t know what was happening to Hoseok and how he didn’t know how to help him. But he did what he could, so he would save portions from all of the meals he ate that day and packed it into a bag to bring to Hoseok at night.

Hoseok was always so hungry. It concerned Kihyun so much, but it seemed that he had been regaining his strength the past few days. He always had fresh gauze on his arms every time Kihyun saw him and it took all of Kihyun not to tear them off and apply his own medicine, but if he did, then surely they would know he visited. 

Instead he just held Hoseok in his arms, watched him eat food so gratefully as Kihyun told his stories. Kihyun told him about what the compound was like outside, how it was surprisingly less high tech than the quarantine facility Hoseok was staying in. How everyone there seemed to know Kihyun only through word of mouth because Kihyun didn’t talk to anyone. How Kihyun was excited for Hoseok to get out so he could finally have someone to hold him in bed again. How they could finally live, worry-free of any zombies, just like they always wanted, as soon as Hoseok got out.

Hoseok regained strength and hope each night Kihyun came to visit him and talk to him. Their visits gradually got longer and longer as Changkyun allowed more time to be spent. 

“What do they tell you?” Kihyun whispered one night, while resting his head on Hoseok’s shoulder.

Hoseok looked up in thought at the dark gray ceiling and muttered, “They keep saying that I don’t make sense. Every time they test me I have the virus but then after that they… they don’t have much else to say? I’m not sure. I’m not usually awake enough to understand.” 

“They’ve been at it for almost two weeks now. Don’t you think they’d have something to say? Or that they’d let you go?”

“I keep hoping but… they always throw me back in here and I feel exhausted each time.” Hoseok looked down at Kihyun’s face, barely visible in the dark room. “I’m glad I have you,” he said softly.

Kihyun grinned as he looked up at him and kissed him briefly. “Me too,” he replied.

Kihyun probably would have tried to stay like that all night had Changkyun not told him it was time to go. So Kihyun kissed him one last time that night before getting up and watching heavily as Changkyun closed the barred door with a soft click and locked Hoseok back in again.

It wasn’t until Kihyun and Changkyun were both out and clear of the entire quarantine building that Kihyun placed a hand on his arm. It was quiet all around them as Changkyun turned around softly, his eyes asking what Kihyun wanted to say.

“Your dad… you said he was a scientist, right?”

“...Yes.”

Kihyun’s eyes glittered underneath the night of the moon. “Has he checked Hoseok out?”

Changkyun blinked. “No…? Not that I’ve heard him talk about. All he’s talked about at dinner these days are about some of the zombies they’ve dissected or studied  and learned from.” 

“So he knows the difference,” Kihyun said, “between normal people and a zombie. Not just through examination, but also behaviors.”

“Yes…?”

“Have him check on Hoseok. Please,” Kihyun begged. “He’ll be able to see that Hoseok is completely normal and fine.”

“Kihyun, if my dad could see that then surely the other scientists here would too--”

“But they don’t!  _ You  _ don’t think Hoseok is infected, do you?”

Changkyun swallowed. “Well, no--”

“If he was infected, wouldn’t he have turned already?! You’ve seen other people turn before here at least, haven’t you?!” 

“Yes, but Kihyun--”

“Then you  _ know  _ nothing is wrong with Hoseok,” Kihyun insisted, his eyes hard and almost wild looking in the moonlight. “And if anyone can let him out, it’s your father. He’s the leader of everyone -- surely he can help us.”

“Kihyun--”

“Please,” Kihyun begged, his fingers curled tightly into Changkyun’s arm. “Changkyun, you have to help us. There’s nothing wrong with Hoseok and he’s done nothing wrong either.” 

Changkyun stared at him for a moment, at how desperate Kihyun looked at him with his misty eyes and furrowed eyebrows. He thought about how much Kihyun and Hoseok really did care for each other in the small glimpses he had of them together. And he thought about how if this happened to him, he would want someone to help also.

So he replied softly with, “Okay. I can ask my dad to look at him.”

Kihyun breathed such a large sigh of relief as he fell into Changkyun and embraced. “Thank you,” he said over and over. “Thank you, Changkyun, so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.” 

Kihyun just wanted to see his boyfriend and to hold him safely without worrying about all the hardships he was being put through. And Changkyun figured, yeah, he did know how much it meant. 

  
  
  
  
  


“Kihyun! Kihyun, wake up!”

Kihyun groaned as he blinked awake, the sunlight hurting his eyes as he sat up. “What…?” he murmured. Slowly, he was able to make out Changkyun sitting at the end of his bed, his hands shaking Kihyun awake aggressively. “Changkyun--? What are you doing? What time is it?”

“It’s four in the afternoon,” Changkyun replied. 

“It’s not even night yet,” Kihyun said as he rubbed his eye. “It’s not time to go see Hoseok.”

“No, that’s the problem, Kihyun, it’s _ Hoseok.” _

Kihyun seemed to snap wide awake at the mention of his boyfriend and at that moment, he finally realized how Changkyun looked so nervous and afraid. His fingers were clutching Kihyun’s sheets tightly, his knuckles white in fear.

“Changkyun… Changkyun, what’s going on?”

“You remember how you asked me last week to ask my dad to look at Hoseok?”

“Yes…”

“Well, he  _ did. _ And he told me what he discovered today.” Changkyun spoke quickly, his words nearly tumbling over each other out of his mouth.

“Hoseok did mention two nights ago that someone else came in to inspect him,” Kihyun recalled. “Was that your dad?”

“It was,” Changkyun stressed. “And he got results today and listen to me -- Hoseok  _ isn’t  _ infected but he  _ does  _ have the virus.” 

Kihyun blinked, unable to process the information. “What?” 

“Hoseok,” Changkyun repeated, “has the virus. But it wasn’t passed to him from a zombie. My dad thinks he was exposed to whatever turned the zombies before the viral outbreak.” 

“So what does that mean?” Kihyun asked in a quivering voice.

“It means that while Hoseok acts and functions normally, like a human being, he has the same zombie virus inside of him growing all over his brain  like  _ any other _ zombie would. That’s why he keeps getting tested, it’s because every single thing points to him being infected but he’s never  _ turned  _ and I don’t think he ever _ will.” _

Kihyun reached over to hold Changkyun’s hand. “Why not?” he asked softly.

“It’s because the virus has-- has  _ mutated  _ somehow. It mutated in a way so that somehow, he’s become immune to it.”

“Isn’t that,” Kihyun licked his lips, “Isn’t that good news?”

Changkyun shook his head. “Good news, maybe, but Kihyun, you don’t understand -- my dad wants to reverse engineer a vaccine. To make everyone immune to the virus.” Changkyun ran his hands through his hair, frustrated at being unable to explain to Kihyun what he wanted to say. He stood up and sat back down. “Okay -- the virus is like a growth, right? It multiplies at a super fast rate, which is why people turn so quick when they’re infected. Hoseok has a brain identical to someone who’s infected but has no signs of being so. And… And in order to research this, my dad has to remove the virus before he can reverse engineer a vaccine.” 

“But…” Kihyun blinked and swallowed as the gravity suddenly fell upon him, “it’s… all over Hoseok’s brain. Your  _ dad…  _ wants to study Hoseok’s brain.”

Changkyun nodded. “Yeah. He does.”

Kihyun brought his hands up to cover his mouth as his eyes flooded with horror.  _ “Oh my god.” _ His hands shook uncontrollably. “Oh my god, Changkyun, they’re going to  _ kill  _ him.”

“Kihyun--”

“They’re going to kill him, Changkyun!” Kihyun exclaimed in terror. He stood up, grabbing his hair with his hands as his eyes widened. “What are we going to do--? How am I supposed to--?!” He panted heavily. “We have to get out of here. We have to--!”

“Calm down,” Changkyun said, holding Kihyun’s shoulders and bringing him back to the bed. “Calm down, okay? Just listen to me. Breathe, Kihyun.”

Kihyun nodded silently, taking in deep shaky breaths after Changkyun. He swallowed and blinked as he visibly relaxed.

“Okay, listen -- as soon as I heard this I knew I had to come tell you. They’re going to prep Hoseok for surgery tomorrow morning. Which means whatever you want to do, you’ve got to do it tonight.”

Nodding in agreement, Kihyun swallowed. “You’re right. I can’t panic now, I’ve got to figure out a way for Hoseok and I to get out of here.”

“I’ve already got a plan,” Changkyun said under his breath.

“…You do?”

Changkyun nodded. “I do.  _ I’m  _ the only one that has the keys to quarantine and the outer gates. All the guards will be looking for you so what I need you to do is just pack. Pack all of your belongings and all the food you can and wait for me by the gates. I’ll sign up for all the gate position shifts tonight so I can sneak you through.”

“Won’t they know?”

“No, all our soldiers are idiots,” Changkyun scoffed. “They wouldn’t stand a viable chance against actual zombies. They’ll be too excited about not working to even notice that I’m tripled my shift.”

“Okay…”

“I’ll bring out Hoseok and meet you there and I’ll make sure you two are off.”

“Changkyun, they’ll know it was you,” Kihyun told him. “They’ll know you let us out. And if they find out--”

“I’ll be in huge trouble,” Changkyun said with an exasperated smile. “Lots of trouble, actually, especially with my dad. But I guess it’s all worth it.”

“Why though?” Kihyun asked. “Why help us?”

“Because I…” Changkyun looked down sheepishly. Shrugging nonchalantly he continued, “I figured that being dead in heaven would be worse than holding each other’s hands through hell. And you know if… if this were me and Jooheon, I would want someone to help me too.”

Kihyun looked more grateful than ever as he threw his arms around Changkyun, hugging him close. “I can’t even begin to thank you for how much you’ve done for us,” he said quietly. “I’m so sorry I have to leave you behind like this.”

Changkyun chuckled. “It’s alright -- you wouldn’t be the first.”

“Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet,” Changkyun told him. “Just meet me at the gates tonight after dark.”

“I will.”

  
  
  
  


Kihyun arrived at the gates with the two backpacks and smaller bags that Changkyun had gifted him with earlier. They were filled with food and clothes and enough water for a few weeks alone. Changkyun had been right and there were no guards positioned at any of the gates so Kihyun waited in the darkness and the silence for what felt like hours.

And then finally, in the silence, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching him. And then in the dim moonlight, he saw Changkyun running towards him, with Hoseok stumbling in tow. Kihyun gasped and rushed to meet them halfway.

“Hoseok!” he breathed as he grabbed his boyfriend and held him up. “Oh my god, you made it out!”

“Yeah, wasn’t easy either,” Changkyun said breathlessly as he brought out his keys. “There were so many scientists around getting the whole lab ready -- we had to sneak out a different way than I came in.” 

Hoseok nodded. “I thought I was going to die, like, twice.”

“But you made it!” Kihyun said. He kissed Hoseok’s cheek tenderly. “We’re going to be safe now,” he said.

It felt strange knowing that their only way to safety was leaving the safest place they had ever stayed at. But as Changkyun lead them through the gate and out towards the outer gate and their impending reentry into a zombie wasteland got closer, Kihyun realized that the safest he had ever felt was with Hoseok. It felt safer to sleep in Hoseok’s arms with a zombie snapping at them from outside an abandoned pharmacy than it ever felt to sleep alone on a cold, empty bed.

It was more than evident by how safe he felt when Hoseok slipped one of the backpacks onto his own back and leaned down to kiss Kihyun. Hoseok wasn’t fully recovered yet from all the testing but he still did his best to stand on his own and even take some of the weight off of Kihyun.

He was so reliable even when he wasn’t at his strongest -- Kihyun could never feel safer. 

“Okay,” Changkyun said as they reached the outer gate. No one was there either. “This is where I have to stay and you guys need to go. It should be a long while before they discover you’re gone and by then, you’ll be too far for them to pursue.”

Hoseok turned to Changkyun and said, “I know we don’t know each other that well but thank you so much for this. For looking after my boyfriend when I couldn’t and for helping us out. We’ll never forget you.”

Kihyun nodded as he pulled Changkyun into a hug. “Never,” he repeated. “We’ll always remember how kind you were to us.”

Changkyun smiled sheepishly as he pulled away. “I won’t forget you guys either. Be safe out there, okay? Protect each other.”

“We will.” Hoseok nodded.

“And… And if you see Jooheon somewhere out there,” Changkyun added slowly, “tell him that I miss him. And that I’m still here.”

Kihyun smiled. “And that you love him, right?”

Changkyun opened his mouth to protest but just closed it as he chuckled breathily through his nose. “Yeah,” he said finally. “Tell that to him for me too.”

“We will,” Kihyun said with a the brightest smile. Brighter than the moon they were under.

They said goodbyes one more time, told each other one last time how they would miss each other and one last time to be safe. After a final hug from both of them, Changkyun watched in silence as they held each other’s hand reassuringly and shared a kiss before turning away and walking into the darkness.

Their backs illuminated from the moonlight, Changkyun quietly closed the gates after one more silent wish for them to be safe.

They would be gone by the sunrise.

**Author's Note:**

> insp by the last of us   
> a late start to my bingo but i'll be putting out more fics i promise  
> probably 6k longer than i intended but hey whats new l o l
> 
> also happy valentine's day


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